10 Things To Know About IVF
🌷This post is long (because guess what - I am SUPER passionate about IVF and being real about it.) So, I’m going to give you the basic points. If you so feel inclined, read on to why I suggest the following:
Know your insurance fertility coverage (and your partners)!
It can take MONTHS to get into a fertility clinic. Be a squeaky wheel.
Understand the treatment price quotes.
The first round of IVF can take 3 months, but of that, only the last 2 weeks are spent giving shots (up to retrieval).
Stay as positive as you can (please read this one; I get how annoying “stay positive” can sound”)
It’s okay to be scared.
The constipation is real.
Find a clinic that is at the most convenient spot for you.
Have your fertility clinic explain how it grades embryos.
Go down every damn rabbit hole.
🌷
1. Know your insurance fertility coverage (and your partners)! Insurance companies are NOT created equally, especially when it comes to fertility coverage (shoutout to all companies that utilize #progeny). During my first round of IVF, I was not on my husband’s insurance plan. And guess what, he had insurance coverage, and I did not. This meant that any fertility treatment that was billed to me had to be paid out of pocket, and any fertility treatment that was billed to Phil would go through his insurance. Listen up ladies – when it comes to fertility treatments, 98% of all treatment expenses are considered YOURS. The remaining 2% is for the male (often a semen analysis). For my first round of IVF through egg retrieval, roughly $31,000 was billed to me directly, and $500 for my husband. Even though my husband is literally half of the embryos we made with this cycle, in the eyes of fertility insurance industry, he only accounted for 2%. 🌷
2. It can take MONTHS to get into a fertility clinic. Be a squeaky wheel. If you are even considering treatment, make an appointment now. When Phil and I accepted that IVF was our only option to have biological children, I wanted to get into the fertility clinic immediately. Imagine my surprise when they told me the next available appointment was almost three months out. If you find yourself in this situation, call EVERYDAY and ask if a slot opened up. Don’t rely on the “waitlist” they tell you they’ll put you on. I’m not sure if the front desk finally got annoyed with hearing from me (daily – sometimes twice a day) or a spot really did open up, but my 3 month wait suddenly became 2 weeks. 🌷
3. Understand the treatment price quotes. When you go to a fertility clinic, you will get an approximation of service fees. These service fees are what you pay the fertility clinic, but often they do not cover everything that you will need (or want). For example, we were originally quoted $19k for a single IVF cycle. What we did not know was this $19k did not include fertility medication, genetic screening of my husband and myself, or genetic screening of our embryos. This $19k also did not cover any transfer fee (in our case, to a carrier). Our $19k cycle quickly turned into a $31k (not including a transfer which is another $10k). As a very important aside to this, shop out the prices for fertility medications. Often, even if you have fertility coverage, it is less expensive to pay a pharmacy directly than it is to run your meds through insurance. For example, during this second round (now that I am on my husband’s insurance), we could either run the meds through insurance or pay a pharmacy directly. Using the insurance option, the fertility medications cost $21k and paying directly out of pocket (for the exact same medication) cost $5600. In our case, our out of pocket cost with insurance was LESS than paying directly, but I am still confused by how the same meds can cost 4xs as much. This is why I don’t work in insurance….🌷
4. The first round of IVF can take 3 months, but of that, only the last 2 weeks are spent giving shots. I had heard many stories about how IVF can take FOREVER and there are SO MANY SHOTS! While it is true there are a lot of shots, the timeframe of giving them is relatively small, and most the IVF process is waiting – waiting for follow-up appointments, waiting on blood test results (you’ll learn more about your body than you ever wanted), tracking your cycle (also a word to the wise – start tracking your cycle now; if you don’t get a cycle, try tracking your ovulation with an ovulation kit,) and simply just waiting. Infertility is one big mind fuck. And part of the problem is ALL THE DAMN WAITING! You must wait for a period (or a positive ovulation test,) you have to wait for a doctor to be available…. and then if you miss your window of opportunity, you have to wait another month to restart. You feel like your life is on hold. I get it. It’s awful. The very slight silver lining is, once you are in a clinic and have completed one round of IVF, it is much faster and easier for your subsequent cycles (if you need them). 🌷
5. Stay as positive as you can. I really hate writing that because I HATED hearing that from people who did not get the hell I was in (and am currently occupying space). But the very cruel reality of (in)fertility is, it changes you, it impacts every aspect of your life, it does not discriminate, and it can take a lot from you – your physical and mental health, your relationships, your hope, and obviously your dollar bills. Sometimes all you are left with are your thoughts. Try to make them as good as possible. And if they aren’t good, try to quiet them. I’m not a “woo-woo” kind of gal. The whole manifestation thing always sounded a little silly, but when I entered IVF last year, I was in such a dark spot. I thought to myself, I just must fake it. I must pretend like I believe in this science because not believing in it certainly isn’t going to help me. I decided I was going to manifest 4 genetically normal embryos. I started writing “4” everywhere and telling everyone I knew to keep the number 4 in mind. 4444444. To this day, I will find some random piece of paper with the number “4” on it. And guess what, we got 5 beautiful embryos. Do I think all my manifestation is really the reason we had a successful cycle? No. But I also know that having [somewhat] positive thoughts didn’t hurt (even if they were contrived more often than not). 🌷
6. It’s okay to be scared. To this day, I wish someone would have told me that. IVF is scary – not because it is particularly hard, but because there is no certainty in it. It’s okay to be scared because you don’t know what the future looks like, and you don’t know if this will work. It is okay to not be okay. 🌷
7. The constipation is real. Get on MiraLAX now. Of all the side effects of IVF, this was the worst. 🌷
8. Find a clinic that is at a convenient location. You’ll be going in to it a lot, and often, you will have to be there at specific times (on the clinic’s schedule – not yours). The last thing you need, is traffic or weather or any other part of life to cause you stress when you have an appointment THAT YOU CANNOT MISS. 🌷
9. Have your fertility clinic explain how it grades embryos. I assumed embryo grading was universally the same for all clinics. It is not. A 5 day AA embryo at one clinic could be the same as a 5 day AAAA at another. At some point, if you create embryos, you’ll get a call from an embryologist, and s/he will tell you the grading of the embryos. This embryologist will not be your doctor, and you may be like me, wondering whether the embryos are “good”, “bad”, “fair”….and then you find yourself in a deep dark internet well trying to understand this little ones. And then when you try to get a hold of your doctor, you can’t. So, on your first meeting with your doctor, have her/him explain the grading they use. 🌷
10. Go down every rabbit hole. This is a universal truth for all healthcare. No one knows your body like you do and no one cares about it as much as you do. Fertility clinics are extremely busy, and they are often run by just a couple doctors. These doctors, although they may be well-intentioned, are managing the fertility care of hundreds of patients at a time. To them, you are patient “x”, but to you, they are holding your family’s future in their hands. You need to ask every and all the questions. You must go down every rabbit hole and inquire into ANYTHING and EVERYTHING that feels off. I hate to say it, confirm the doctors, nurses, and admins are paying attention to you and your case. 🌷
